This fantasy I know to be alive and well. And it makes me sad to burst this bubble. Because it sounds just so lovely!

Do you want to talk about your book on Super Soul Sunday, the Drew Barrymore Show, or Good Morning America? Well, your publishing house may talk in passing about having connections with the producers, but the chances of coming through for you are minuscule at best. (Unless you’re Britney Spears. Hi, Britney; thanks for reading!)

For the rest of you mortals, you must learn how to pitch media outlets, both big and small, or hire a publicist to do that for you.

Publicists are responsible for arranging book tours and persuading media gatekeepers to feature the author—crucial elements in the success of any book that few authors can replicate on their own. Publicists, like agents, are in the relationship business. They know the players, what they’re looking for, how to talk to them, which makes them valuable.

Publicists, however, offer NO GUARANTEES and are expensive. We’re talking $7,000/month or so. They’ll look for TV opportunities—starting local, working their way up the food chain to the fantasy placements—and print spots, from your local paper to the New York Times book review or Reese Witherspoon’s book club. They’ll pitch, promote, prep you on talking points, and then set you free to perform.

By the way, getting your face on the local news or lifestyle show buys you momentary glory, but it doesn’t tend to sell books.

Again, because it’s easy to gloss over this, the publishing house will only pay for this if it’s stated explicitly in your contract. (Get an agent!!!)

If you’d like to better understand the traditional publishing industry, rife with pitfalls, check out our free resource, 12 Horrific Things About the Publishing Industry You Need to Know to Safeguard Your Wallet.