“My outrage tank is empty.”

Those five words from podcaster Rich Roll perfectly capture what international bestselling author Carl Ficks, J.D. discovered after three decades of bare-knuckle legal battles. In his chapter for The Wisdom Collection, this self-described “gnarly trial attorney” shares a profound realization that transformed both his practice and his life: holding onto anger and resentment is completely valueless.

The Engine That Seizes

Carl uses a visceral analogy that anyone who’s driven a muscle car will understand: “When you bury the speedometer on a muscle car, it hits the red and the engine seizes, it blows up. You can’t run in the red. You can’t run a vehicle in the red. You can’t run yourself in the red.”

Yet in our current cultural moment, it seems everyone is running in the red. There’s a sense of perpetual outrage, of moral indignation that feels righteous but ultimately serves no purpose other than to diminish us.

From Hard-Ass to Pop-Tart

Carl’s transformation didn’t happen overnight. A college friend recently told him, “Carl, you were such a hard ass in college.” His response? “It was my default. I came to college as a 17-year-old. I was a little boy, emotionally a little boy. So that’s a default position for little boys—to try to be a hard ass.”

The legal profession only reinforced this approach. “There’s a lot of machismo,” Carl explains. “It’s ‘I’m going to out-tough you.’ But the correlation between being a tough lawyer and a good lawyer? There’s a disconnect. You can be the most obnoxious and loud lawyer and be really bad at lawyering.”

His evolution became clear when his paralegal of 15 years called him a “Pop-Tart”—”really hard on the outside, but super soft on the inside.” It’s a description he’s come to embrace.

The Power of Being Unoffendable

Carl developed what he calls being “virtually unoffendable.” This wasn’t about becoming indifferent; it was about choosing not to let external circumstances control his internal state. When younger lawyers would “spout nonsense” on calls, he’d disarm them completely: “Let’s stop for a minute. Do you actually believe a single word of what you just said to me?”

This approach—calling out bravado while maintaining humanity—proved far more effective than matching aggression with aggression.

The Restaurant Test

Perhaps the most telling indictment of our current culture? When a restaurant host says “thank you for not yelling at me” simply because your table isn’t ready. “That’s a sad and stinging indictment of where we are,” Carl observes.

His solution is elegantly simple: “I will ask that person how their day has been going, and that changes the dynamic in a good way.” It’s not lip service—it’s genuine human connection in a moment when most people expect conflict.

Bringing Full Humanity to Professional Life

Carl’s upcoming solo book will explore “lawyers bringing their full humanity to the practice of law”—a concept that extends far beyond the legal profession. In any field dominated by machismo or “out-toughing” others, there’s tremendous power in choosing connection over conflict.

As someone who’s kept a meticulous reading list for 25 years and owns his identity as a writer, Carl understands the power of approaching life with curiosity rather than judgment. “If you’re curious, if you’re open to somebody helping you,” he says about The Wisdom Collection, “then it’s going to be right for you.”

The Wisdom Collection is available now, featuring Carl Ficks’ essential chapter on releasing anger and resentment alongside insights from 18 other contributors who’ve transformed their professional expertise into life-changing wisdom.